Welcome to Vol. 1 of the Action Jackson Gambling Diaries. Every week, I’ll be writing in my diary and sharing my betting results from the week before, looking forward to the week ahead, and writing about who I have a crush on at school cool adult stuff.

For each entry of the gambling diaries, I’ll be basing my performance on the Action Jackson scale, which tracks whether my gambling is making me rich or more broke than Vince Young. The scale is below:

#1 - Buying The Odds Factory

I have made so much money gambling that I can buy The Odds Factory. Will I fire everyone on staff or give everyone bonuses? Will I put my high school football highlight tape on the homepage and hope the Jets see it and give me a shot? There’s simply no telling what I’ll do, but I’ll be so rich it doesn’t matter.

#2 - Trip to the Bahamas

I just made absolute bank and am taking $5k and spending the next 3 weeks in the Bahamas, enjoying the sun and starting some illegal offshore businesses.

#3 - Treat Myself Because I Deserve It

Splurging for a nice steak dinner and maybe even buying myself a nice watch or a pair of jeans without holes in them. I deserve this.

#4 – Warren Buffet

I’m taking my money and investing it. And by investing, I mean gambling more. I’ve come out with a little bit of money, but not enough to really cash out. I’ll invest in my gigantic brain and turn this into more cash or blow it all on betting college lacrosse overs. Anything can happen.

#5 - Hot Dogs for Every Meal

I need to take a break and wait for my next paycheck before I start betting again. I simply cannot afford any expenses, so will have to lean on the only reliable cheap source of nutrition – hot dogs for every meal.

#6 – Start a GoFundMe

Rent is late and my credit card bill is massive. I’m too proud to ask my parents for money to bail me out of a gambling hole. But I’m not too proud to have strangers and friends do so.

#7 - Flee the Country

If you don’t hear from me for 6 months, you know what happened.

For our first entry in the Action Jackson Gambling Diaries, let’s get into this week’s performance, which falls into the "Warren Buffet" rating. First, I got off to a nice start with the Wild-Card but decided to trust Ohio State last night and basically lost it all. Lesson learned – never bet the under.

NFL Wild-Card Weekend

Parlays: 2 / 4

I’m addicted to parlays. Last January, I hit a 7-leg parlay across the NFL, NBA, and college basketball and have been chasing that high ever since. It’s ruined my life and created an insane amount of stress, but that’s why we do it.

[caption id="attachment_9210" align="alignnone" width="1024"] Me betting parlays when absolutely no one is forcing me to.[/caption]

For the NFL playoffs, I employed my foolproof “parlay hedge” strategy and bet a mix of 3-team and 6-team parlays, with different scenarios for favorites and big underdog wins. The 6-team parlay is always the picks that I actually think will happen, while the 3-team parlays include at least one upset with some clear favorites. I try to stick to moneyline bets, because 1) the underdog payouts are generally higher and 2) it’s too confusing to track spreads and over/under when I have so many different bets going.

I won the below parlays:

1. 3-Leg Parlay

• Buffalo ML, Los Angeles Rams ML, and Tampa Bay ML
• Price: +334 (boosted from +314 with PointsBet Parlay Booster)

2. 3-Leg Parlay

• Baltimore ML, New Orleans ML, and Cleveland ML
• Payout: +504

I almost had my 6-leg parlay hit, which would have paid out +1526, but the goddam Seahawks decided to shit the bed. I put half a unit on a 3-team parlay with the biggest underdogs (Washington, Chicago, and Cleveland) in case a miracle happened. It would’ve paid out +6140, and I could’ve been in "Buy The Odds Factory" territory, but oh well. The dream lives on.

Losing 6 Leg Parlay:

• Buffalo ML, Seattle ML, Tampa ML, Baltimore ML, New Orleans ML, Cleveland ML.

Standard Bets:

This did not go well. The only bets I hit were a DK Metcalf prop (80+ receiving yards, +200) and a Cleveland point spread. I got fucked left and right, but none more so than on the Chicago cover. I bought this at +11.5, and had pretty much given up hope until the last gasp drive and this insane catch by Jimmy Graham.

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H07Hqmp1ZGc[/embed]

So, I was about to go nuts until I realized they weren’t kicking the goddam extra point. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? I’m storming NFL headquarters and/or crashing the next owner’s meeting to demand they change this rule next year. Think of the gamblers.

Super Bowl Futures:

I like to put small bets on a handful of teams to win the whole thing. I’m big on the Bills this year and after Sunday’s performance, am starting to get my hopes up for the Browns. Can’t wait to have them destroyed.

National Championship Betting

This is where it all came apart. My national championship picks were literally all wrong. I don’t know how it happened, but I talked myself into Ohio State and Justin Fields, who I’ve been confused about since season 2 of Netflix’s QB1: Beyond the Lights. (If you haven’t watched this, check it out. It follows three high school senior QBs every year and their recruiting process. Jake Fromm, Tate Martell, Justin Fields, and Spencer Rattler have all appeared.) I’ve also learned my lesson about betting the under and will never make that mistake again.

[embed]https://twitter.com/theoddsfactory/status/1348993696059039746[/embed]

Yeah, you’re reading that right. A big fat goose egg. I’m honestly humiliated. What a horrible start to the week.

Nothing worked. I bet on the Ohio State spread (and ML, like a piece of shit), the under, and six player props. I even got 5 out 6 legs of a parlay, but the over for the Grizzlies-Cavs game didn’t hit. Why am I betting the Grizzlies-Cavs when I’ve haven’t watched those teams play this year and can maybe name four people on their rosters combined you ask? I DON’T KNOW.

Clearly, I made the cardinal sin of gambling and started chasing losses. I should’ve listened to Anthony George earlier, but now I am committed. No more unders. No more chasing losses. And no more betting on games that I have zero information on.

The Week Ahead

Thanks to the Wild-Card parlays, I still have some breathing room and am in the Invest It phase. I’ll be trying to grow that 5 units into 7 or 8 this week by betting on some NBA action to set me up for the NFL divisional playoffs, so lets hope I get to talk about those wins in next week's volume of the Action Jackson Gambling Diaries. PointsBet is running a Single Game Parlay Insurance promo this weekend, where you get money back if exactly 1 leg fails on a 3+ leg bet, so I’ll be jumping all over that.

In the meantime, you should sign up for PointsBet ASAP – they have the best promos and odds boost on the market, and I love their user interface. New users get 2 risk-free bets up to $1,000, so sign up today.