Action Jackson Gambling Diaries Vol. 3: The NBA Is Rigged
January 26, 2021
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Welcome to the third installment of the Action Jackson Gambling Diaries. Every Tuesday, I’ll be dipping the pen to track my betting performance and slowly deteriorating mental health. Follow along as I try to make enough money to buy The Odds Factory and change the name to The Evens Factory.
Action Jackson Gambling Diaries Vol. 3: The NBA Is Rigged
Beginning Balance: 15 Units
Last Week’s Balance: 22.5 Units
This Week’s Balance: 19.5 Units
Total Performance: +4.5 Units
Action Jackson Scale: Warren Buffet
Had a down week that could have been a lottttt worse. I’m going to have to make smart investments to keep growing this pot. Hopefully, that stimulus check comes through and I can put it all on the Chiefs in two weeks, but until then, I’ll have to keep grinding.NBA Basketball Betting
Weekly Performance: -9.5 Units
Yuck. What an absolutely horrendous performance. I really couldn’t do anything right betting the NBA last week and ending up feeling like a pathetic loser with no energy to shower or manage my personal hygiene. So basically 7th grade all over again. I’m not gonna lie to you all, there was a period of time when I strongly considered blaming myself. Then I quickly came to my senses and realized one thing…the NBA is 100% rigged. How else can you explain the Cavs beating the Nets twice in a week? The Sixers losing by 15 to the goddamn Detroit Pistons? Chris Paul not scoring exactly 22 points on Friday??? (Admittedly this was a bad bet.) I can’t prove it, but I have reason to believe this goes all the way to the top. I wouldn’t be surprised if the U.S. government is involved on some level, as part of a larger conspiracy to make sure that I lose my rent check every week on NBA betting. Why, you ask? The most likely scenario is that a group of billionaires (Illuminati is my best guess) is nervous that I’m growing more powerful and wealthy every day. They don’t want to relinquish control of the global economy, which I honestly get. There’s also a world where Adam Silver has read some of my mean tweets about him and has a personal vendetta against me. Again, it’s understandable, but still a little frustrating. The point is – anything is possible. [caption id="attachment_9861" align="aligncenter" width="940"]
The Lizard People who run the world are involved somehow. I’m just not sure how deep it goes.[/caption]
I’m definitely not going to stop betting on the NBA this week, so I’m honestly hoping they just call off the conspiracy. Only time will tell.
UFC 257 Betting
Weekly Performance: -3 Units It’s been well-publicized, but I’m going to brag one more time – I was the only person in the entire world who was right about Poirier beating McGregor. [embed]https://twitter.com/FlawlessLawl3ss/status/1352657567261069327[/embed] With a payout of +255, my moneyline bet should have been more than enough for me to make off like a bandit and ride into the sunset a rich man. But I made the cardinal mistake of any night of UFC betting – betting on the undercards. Every single time they showed two fighters warming up, I immediately panic-bet for whichever one I thought had the coolest promos. Why am I betting on a women’s flyweight matchup when I have absolutely zero information? Because I’m a piece-of-shit loser who doesn’t deserve happiness, that’s why. And also, I turned on the fight way too early and got bored waiting for Conor to come on. These things happen. Thank god Poirier won or this night could have been a lot worse. [caption id="attachment_9860" align="aligncenter" width="1024"]
I now have a personal vendetta against JoJo, the Scottish UFC fighter who looks like she probably smokes meth at least a little bit.[/caption]
NFL Playoff Betting
Weekly Performance: +9 Units
I’m pissed the NFL season is wrapping up because it’s the only sport I legitimately do well on. I shifted my strategy slightly and decided to go big on a few bets vs. spreading my money around to multiple parlays, which ended up paying off and bailing me out big time this weekend. I went 2 for 3, hitting on the Green Bay-Tampa over and Bills first-half point total between 11-20 (weird bet, but just felt right.) My only loss was on a Tampa ML and Buffalo ML parlay. Admittedly, I got a bit swept up in the Bills Mafia movement and under-estimated Mahomes’ ability to play with a broken brain. Happens to the best of us. We live and we learn. For the entire NFL playoffs, I’m up over 22 units total. Absolutely insane. I’m going to need to capitalize one last time during the Super Bowl and pray I turn it around. Without my football winnings, I’d be in a deep, deep hole right now.The Week Ahead
Outside of hoping Lizard People stop rigging the NBA, I’m going to be dipping my toe into college hoops. My man Lobo Grande has been spot-on with his college basketball picks all month, so it’s a good chance to make money and start getting into gambling shape for March Madness. The only way to truly understand a sport is to bet on it, and I’m going to need to fill that NFL void somehow.
